A Guide for Goal Setting and Habits that Stick
When it comes to goals, some of us love them, some of us hate them.
Personally, I’ve been failing at goal setting since I was a child. It all started on my 6th birthday. My thoughtful parents worked to keep all the kids entertained with backyard games. First up was pin the tail on the donkey. You know the game, you are blindfolded, spun around circles, and released to reunite the paper donkey with a tail. Most of the time you missed and sometimes you "accidentally" pinned your friends or siblings. The game was great but the reward was fleeting.
The next round had more promise, the piñata full of candy, a childhood dream! The instructions were clear and simple, “Take the bat and smash the piñata”. For some reason there was a blindfold and spinning in circles again. I was ready for my glorious candy shower but every time I swung the bat, someone would pull the string and the piñata would dance away. Desperately, I kept swinging, finally getting a solid hit. The motivation for filling my hands with candy helped me to press on. Eventually I had to give someone else a turn. Turns out my friends would keep missing the piñata most of the time as well. Eventually, the piñata split and it was a candy collecting free for all.
The Half-Truths of Goal Setting
Half-Truth #1: “Goals don’t work for me”
Some of you hate the idea of setting goals because it feels like the new years resolution that you casually set knowing that you aren’t going to follow through or you were really sincere but nothing came of it: exercise more, lose 10 lbs., meet that special someone. If goals don’t work you are doing them wrong and we’ll get into that in a bit… OR “Just set some good goals”
Half-Truth #2: “I don’t set goals, I’ve got routines and habits”
This is one of my favorites. As a human, I’ve risen to that next level. I’m beyond goals, I build sustainable habits, micro-actions with large impacts” Great. Good for you... We’ve become enamored with technique and morning routines that some of us actually do optimize. We become machines of routinization.
Full-Truth: Goals and habits are powerful motivational ingredients (for you and the people you lead)… but goals don’t work because we often approach them wrong and habits can seem empty sometimes because we lose sight of the purpose behind them.
Purpose + Intent: 5 key points to remember when setting a goal or working on habits
Intentionality vs. good intentions
The direction you point yourself matters (like the adder on the wrong roof)
What is the purpose behind this habit or goal? (Why am I going to muster energy toward it? What do you love the most? Psychologically, we’ll go after something that is worthwhile. If we’re failing at goals, it might not be worthwhile enough)
Doing with intention vs. compulsion
Involuntary: intention to your involuntary compulsions so that they become more purposeful
Habits and Goals work,
but we often forget to start with intent and purpose. If we want goals to motivate and habits to stick, let’s wait on technique and start with intent and purpose. Once you have intent and purpose documented, where do you go from there?
Set goals and build supportive habits.
Goal setting is one of the most well-research areas in psychology. A literal mountain of evidence. It’s overwhelming. Goals work. Goals increase performance.
However, we so often focus on the goal setting that we forget that the goal striving, or making it happen and implementation or execution, matters. We’ve all been so guilty of setting goals (personally or on your team) that are really well constructed (using any framework you want) and then they sit on the shelf or in some system. At the end of the year we look and blame the environment and things around us that that changed. If we achieved them we take all the credit. We never revisit and revise, up or down, increasing performance or decreasing performance expectations.
Increase Performance or Lower Your Expectations.
Goals need to be revised. Maybe monthly, maybe quarterly. You upward or downward revise them. The goal is still a goal but what you expect changes. How many of you had to revisit goals for the end of 2020? OR, you just threw them out the window. Survive.
SETTING THE GOAL:
Start with purpose (in your WiLD Toolkit, visit your Purposeful Goals Assessment)
Be specific
Challenging but attainable (do your best isn’t motivating, survive isn’t motivating)
Commitment: share with others (ex. chat, goal setting tool in the system can share OUTSIDE the org for real accountability)
People don’t need to set the goal, just commit to it…
Feedback loop —> like basketball. If I take a shot I can adjust my performance in real-time; I’ve been watching the videos from my presentations to course correct. Set a goal that allows you to learn along the way.
STARTING A HABIT:
Start with intention
Move to implementation: Specificity matters!
What, when, where, how
(Example) Exercise regimen: What are you going to do? When are you going to do it? Where? How?
Prepare (Setting out running shoes and clothes in advance)
Planning (Picking a time to run in the morning - setting my alarm)
Picking a loop (having a plan for bad weather)
If I leave you with one thing: Lead with intention and purpose. Why do we want to go here or do this? For you and others. Build strong, specific goals and habits, and invite people into your journey.
If you’re looking for a system for intentional development for you and your team going into the new year, checkout the WiLD Toolkit for yourself or learn about the WiLD Toolkit Team Bundle promotion. Think about how you are going to build whole + intentional leader development into your rhythms of 2021.
